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From the porn magazine to the moving truck to the dark sewers of California, Brandon Christopher's journey in the American job market is not only absurd, but also full of wit and profound observations. He steps out from behind the driver's wheel, the cash register, and the office desk to record the lighter and darker sides of humanity in the workplace. Christopher's tale makes even the most mundane job seem fascinating and the most exciting career appear hum-drum and hollow.
The Job Pirate strips off the façade of the average employee to see what is hidden underneath: ''That new employee that you see hanging his vintage blazer onto the backrest of his swivel chair is me. My cubicle is right next to yours. I don't say much, I dine alone, I drink a lot of coffee, and I know my legal right to two cigarettes in an 8-hour workday. And yes, you were right, I'm not really the Marketing Strategist that I told the boss I was. But I'm sitting here in this cubicle, and the resume that got me this job is in my attaché case right beside me. It clearly states that I have more than enough experience to run this company's entire advertising department and I'll be here between three weeks and a year, so you better get used to the idea.''
Often hilarious and sometimes profound, Christopher's stories take us through the offices, department stores and kiosks of the West Coast. We ride along with him as he chauffeurs the famous, the dead and sometimes just their furniture. Christopher gives us an irreverent inside glimpse into the work life of the people we see everyday.
Even though at times he exhibits moral ambiguity, we find ourselves rooting for him against all the odds because we can see our own struggles in his attempts to acclimate. We can all relate to this story of selling our soul to the company store and then buying it back for pennies on the dollar, just to have that one more day of freedom.
- Sales Rank: #1385591 in Books
- Published on: 2015-02-19
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.30" h x .81" w x 7.41" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 294 pages
Review
''. . . Be prepared to laugh . . . The Job Pirate doesn't just stand out: it shines.''
- D. Donovan, Midwest Book Review
''Inventive writing . . . Christopher (sees) his forays into the professional world as performance art . . . .''
- Mindy Farabee, L.A. Weekly
''. . . An irreverent survival guide for fellow Gen-Xers and Millennials . . . .''
- George Rede, The Oregonian
''. . . Genuinely hilarious and bracingly self-critical . . . .''
--- Kirkus Reviews
About the Author
Brandon Christopher is an artist, novelist and journalist. He has published over a dozen short stories and essays in magazines, literary journals, websites and anthologies. He also published his first book, Dirty Little Altar Boy, through Ghost Pants Press. He is also a writer and producer of several documentaries and TV biographies, including: Just for the Record -- The Rolling Stones, the highly acclaimed 16-hour documentary The Definitive Elvis, and The 50 Worst Movies Ever Made.
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Take this job and...
By Larry Hoffer
"To see me in your office is surely cause for speculation. I look like you, I work like you, but I am not like you, and some part of you knows this. Some elemental part of you, deep down inside, knows that I am an imposter in your workplace. But your—actually, our—employer doesn't know this yet—he doesn't realize the person he just gave a unique login and password to is a professional at what he does for a living. But this particular profession isn't what he does for a living—at least it wasn't three days before the interview."
So begins Brandon Christopher's chronicle of the 81(!) jobs he held since graduating from high school—some lasted a few minutes, some a few hours, some a few days, some even a few months. While some of the jobs he had were exciting in their own right, some strictly called for menial labor, some required dealing with customers and even cash registers, and some were just downright gross.
Many of us have started jobs only to realize they're utterly and completely wrong for us, or the boss is a total douchebag, or what is required is far more taxing (physically or emotionally) than we imagined, and we've dreamed of just walking off the job in a blaze of glory, telling the boss what they can do with the job, or even, in the most passive-aggressive fashion ever, simply not returning the next day or after a lunch break. But many of us don't do that. However, Brandon Christopher did—more than once, sometimes in spectacular fashion.
From his experience as a not-entirely-skilled limousine driver hired to drive Wu-Tang Clan, to finding himself in the middle of a tug-of-war between coworkers (and a little sexual harassment) while working as a proofreader and writer for a series of gay porn magazines, from the physically and emotionally harrowing experiences as a mortuary driver and a member of a moving crew, to the disgusting (not to mention ethically challenging) work as a plumber's assistant, The Job Pirate is at times hysterically funny, and at times moving, as Christopher struggles with whether this path he has found himself on is the right one for his future.
I enjoyed this book and at times, certainly found myself nodding along with some of his observations (not to mention muffling my laughter so I didn't laugh out loud on the train). It is a little scattered, in that he jumps through different periods of time, so I found myself needing to re-acclimate myself occasionally to which jobs he had before the one he was discussing. And at times, he shifts away from his job anecdotes to share other reflections and incidents (including a BB gun battle he had with a friend, or an attempt to find a willing participant for a threesome with him and his coworker), and those aren't as interesting as his experiences working.
The Job Pirate is at times a cautionary tale not to do the things Christopher has done, but it's fun to read about someone doing some of the things at jobs you might have thought of once or twice (or maybe more). Lots of fun.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
A Fun Job-Hopping Tale from Sewers to Moving Vans!
By D. Donovan
Under a different hand, it would have been all too easy for The Job Pirate to have become another autobiographical survey of poor career moves and an endless succession of jobs - but then, we're not talking about the usual approach with Brandon Christopher; which is why his book is being recommended here as an inviting, lively read for any who have an interest in a humor-spiced memoir chronicling good and bad job experiences alike.
Christopher's intention is to shock and amaze with the unexpected, and this is evident from the very first sentence of his introduction (which should serve as adequate warning to prospective employers).
And while this won't delight the job seeker who has unwittingly come upon The Job Pirate in hopes of perhaps gaining some employment-fostering tips during the process of re-careering, there are plenty of books on the market which better serve this purpose - and none with the whimsical delivery of of The Job Pirate.
After all - the full title gives away this book's focus (The Job Pirate: An Entertaining Tale of My Job-Hopping Journey in America), so there should be no cause for confusion or dashed expectations - and plenty of appropriate anticipation of a fun journey.
This is no singular path, either: Christopher's jobs range from porn magazines and moving vans to sewers, and his West Coast journeys make for particularly fun reflections for any who reside on the 'left bank' of the country.
Be prepared to laugh. Be prepared to recognize that boring jobs become enlightening and fun only under Christopher's hand. And be prepared to be delighted; for in the vast world of career and job experience books, The Job Pirate doesn't just stands out: it shines.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Surprisingly fun and worth the read
By D. Brown
This book was surprisingly fun. On the face of it, “The Job Pirate” is worth a read just for being a few hundred pages of laugh-out-loud story telling. It reminds you of the kind of stuff that has you cracking up over beers with that crazy buddy who does stuff you’d never do. Some of the stories were better/crazier than others, but overall they were really entertaining. Lots of crude, eyebrow-raising LOL moments.
There’s no doubt that Brandon Christopher has experienced a lot; from florist, to limo-driver, to mortuary driver, to porn writer, he’s been there and done that, and done it with the muckraking zeal of an undercover warzone journalist. And as enjoyable as that is in and of itself, the book is also more than just wild situations and toilet humor. Peppered among the dozens of irreverent workplace misadventures in “The Job Pirate” is a fair bit of relatable insight into the current state of affairs for many struggling young adults. A lot of us have had to struggle to make ends meet, and this book is sort of the extreme of that. Through a piecemeal diary of failures and successes, of blunders and dumps-on-luxury-cars, there are actually - if you can believe it - a few interesting lessons among the whole bunch of laughs.
Throughout the book, I felt like I got a refreshingly transparent view of Christopher as a colleague, a son, a sibling, a friend, and an a**hole. Sometimes I loved him and sometimes I hated him, but almost the whole time I was entertained by him.
Thanks for sharing your dirt, Brandon. Looking forward to the sequel.
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